Enjoying Some Time Off

Well, after the very tough time at around recital time in June and the pretty non-existent time off since then, I am finally able to really relax for a bit!
I went on a mini vacation last week. To be exact, I went on a girls only cruise (one of my friends was celebrating her 30th BDay). We sailed to the Bahamas.............. hhhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuhhhhhhh...... can you say relaxation? Because of the ridiculous rates for data on my cell phone, I had turned off the data and roaming (I could only receive text messages for emergency). So, being so secluded and in the middle of the ocean, I finally relaxed. Something I had not done in a long time! No stress, nothing. I took so many power naps, ate good food, and enjoyed nice drinks.
As I was lounging on a chair overlooking the ocean, I started thinking about everything that I had gone through. Although I still have no children, I just kept thinking that I am still thankful for what I do have. I felt pretty lucky to be cruising in the Bahamas and enjoy a good time with my girls.
I am also on vacation until November 21st for Thanksgiving Break. The studio is closed so I get to relax more and enjoy time with my hubby who is also off.
Everything is pretty quiet on the baby side of our lives but I am really enjoying where I am mentally and physically right now.
Oh and another good thing happened. I had put my studies on hold because of finances but I actually obtained a scholarship that will allow me to finish! I am very happy and cannot wait to go back to school next Fall :)

That wraps it for now....

Back After A Long Silence

Hello Everyone,

It's been almost two months since my last post. Time goes by so fast. I also stay very busy and find it hard to sit in front of the computer and write. I am always on the go or doing something. BUT, I follow your blogs, I read them and tell myself, "Oh, I have to respond, I will do it later...... blah blah blah....."
For all of you with success stories, I want to say congratulations. For those who went through difficult times, I want to say that you are in my heart, and for the ones who are still trying (like me), I want to say Good Luck and keep hope in your heart.

I have been staying busy and keeping my mind occupied. I have been working out and eating a very clean diet, cutting all bad stuff and fast food. I have almost lost the 10 pounds that I had put on after all the miscarriages. It took some work and will power but I feel better. I am in a great place mentally as well. I have been reading alot of books. It relaxes me to read at night before I fall asleep and during the week-ends. I have not been focused on "getting pregnant." I actually enjoy my life at the moment and I am very happy about it. If a child is meant to be, then I guess only the future will tell!

A Plain Weird Cycle

I am not understanding how my body is working right now. I have never experienced this after any D&Cs or m/c's. I got my period after a 22 day cycle in July after the D&C of June 30. My period was extremely heavy and had lots of cramps. I remember ovulating early afterwards at about 10-11 days but I then started my next cycle on day 20. So it was very short, 19 day cycle. My period which is usually pretty long was extremely short, Wed afternoon, Thursday, and part of Friday, not heavy, no cramps...... that's not me, it has never been light and painless. I took HPT just in case something was up, of course BFN. Anyhow, I am now ovulating again! Cervical mucus, pain in ovaries, and low temp. Wow, I am only on day 9. What is happening?! Maybe my body needs more time to re-adjust. I am going to keep an eye on the next few cycles and see. Well....... it could be hormonal too, I am getting older and it might be different. Will see.......... I just thought it was plain weird!

Poked, AF, and finally......... VACATION!

Hello everyone,

I went in this week to do another blood work to see if something else, beside BT, could be causing recurring miscarriages. One of the doctors had ordered the test a long time ago and I never did it. The first time they gave me the prescription, it was coded under infertility and my insurance isn't great coverage so I was scared as how much it would cost me. Anyhow... they wrote me a new one coded under pregnancy and it was covered 100%.... that's good! I do believe that the test is to see if my body (killer cells, not sure) is attacking the fetus. I am pretty sure that this is not the case but it was the last test that could be done. I have been tested for every problem possible I believe. So here again, I was poked once more. But then again, I did not expect to be diagnosed with BT when I got tested for that. We shall see...

Oh, so AF showed up yesterday, again. A 19 days cycle, huh?! I already had my period after the D&C after a 22 days cycle. Maybe my body needs time to re-adjust. I usually have long cycles. Weird.

And finally!!! After a very rough past few months, I finally have some time off!!!!! 11 days without going to the studio..... somewhat of a vacation!!!! We are not going anywhere as my Hubby is going back to work on Monday but I am looking forward to some time to relax and most importantly recharge my "batteries" before a new dance year! I am planning on going to Zumba classes, reading, tanning, taking care of my house, and spending some time with my three doggies :) Yay!

I forgot..... it's also my B-Day weekend, whoo hoo! I will be 31 on Sunday. Looking back, I thought that I would be done with starting our family by now, with maybe two kids. But life wasn't meant to be that way for me I guess. But I am thankful and greatful anyway. We have a house, I have a great Hubby, I have my dream job, wonderful pets, great friends, etc...and the list goes on.... Although I still want something else, I have to realize that I am a lucky girl.

And I still have hope........ we will try again........ and maybe someday........ we will succeed!

Guests

Tonight we are going out to celebrate a friend's birthday. Some of our friends will be coming back to our house afterwards because they live too far to drive late at night. But they are not the only guests that we are hosting this weekend. AF showed up last night, hmmm?! Only three weeks after D&C. I am not complaining, I think it's great my body is going back on track quite rapidly. I usually get it pretty quickly after m/c's but I think it was the quickest. It also makes me feel better since OB did not draw anymore blood. At least I know that levels have gone down.
Well, I am starting back my gym routine on Monday since camps are over and now AF, I can officially say that I am back to the routine. It feels great!
We have decided to just see what happens and try naturally for now. I will be turning 31 in August. I want to wait a few more years and see. I know that we have options so it makes me feel a tad better.
Considering DE and DEmbryo if naturally does not work out. I have come to terms with this, I feel good about it. It makes life easier and I want to enjoy it to the fullest! Have a great weekend everyone :)

Back to the Routine

So it has been three weeks since the D&C. Everything went fine with the procedure. No complications, no heavy bleeding also. It lasted about a week. I do believe that my body is getting back to normal and feel that I ovulated and I am getting pre-menstrual cramps since this morning. So I am just waiting for AF to arrive.
First cycle since April.............. since that nightmare of a month and a half.
I went to my follow-up appointment on Monday and I am very disappointed with the ob/gyn. There are a few things that left a sour taste in my mouth the past few years. This past non-successful pregnancy has been tough and that ob/gyn practice has not met my personal standards. This past Monday was the breaking point though. Starting next week, I will be looking for a new practice. I need to find doctors that understand BT a bit more (I know it will be difficult but I am sure I can find someone who understands it or at least is a bit more sensitive to my delicate situation). The doctor did not even ask to check my levels (first time in 6 m/c's), he only did a quick internal exam. He also told me to stop trying to get pregnant on my own. Wow.... I know it's hard but it can happen. Unfortunately I do not have the resources to do IVF or Donor Eggs. My insurance does not cover it. He told me to just go straight to donor eggs and gave me the name of a reproductive clinic with some great specialists. I told him that we did not consider it at this time. I also quickly explained that over the years I had to come to terms with the donor eggs idea. Although I am totally open to this option now, when I first m/c at the age of 25, I had a hard time with thinking about donor eggs. It took time to understand but if I could do donor eggs, I would so do it! (I want to thank LisainSK for reinforcing this idea). I told the doctor that it took me a long time coming to terms with the fact that it would be my husband genetics and not mine. What made me so mad (this is why I am done with them) is that the doctor did not even look at me in the eyes and was writing something on my chart and responded without any regards to my feelings: "well..... it's better than nothing." He then said take care and left the room. Wow.... really?! It is time for a new ob/gyn. If anyone knows a good doctor in the Tampa Bay area, please let me know. A mom from the studio gave me a name and I am going to call and see.

Other than that, I am almost done with the crazy schedule of three weeks of dance camps (9am-5pm) followed by summer classes (6pm-9pm). I miss my zumba classes and I am starting again on Monday!!! Yay!!!

I am looking forward to going back to my normal routine.

I'm back and I'm ok..... but I will write more later

Hello Everyone,

I just wanted to let you know that I had the D&C last Thursday and I am OK. I will write more about how I am feeling later as I have been very busy with dance camps at the studio and I am gone about 14-15 hours each day. I promise to catch up on reading everyone's blogs and I will keep you updated on my condition.

Even going through this very difficult time..... I'm doing OK. Just wanted my blogging family to know :)