New Background

Ok, I have changed my background and hope that this fixes the comment box problem. Please let me know if you can leave comments on here, thank you!

New Blog Design

I tried to change my blog over the weekend and used another background. It was very pretty but I found it hard to read and follow. But it messed up my entire layout!!! ha! I tried to fix it but it took me a long time so I got a bit frustrated ;-)
This is a temporary layout until I can find one that I like better. Hopefully, I will be able to find another layout/background that I like better very soon. In the meantime, you might come to my blog and see that it is different from day to day until I am satisfied ;-)

It was Just a Fluke I Guess

I thought that my period was here since I started spotting on Thursday (this would have been the shortest 2ww ever though) but it has completely stopped. I guess it was just a fluke. The weird thing is that I was cramping like if I was having my period on Thursday and Friday. I was sure that the bleeding would become heavier. No cramping yesterday or today (so far).
I am trying to look back at my week and see if maybe something could have triggered some bleeding. The only thing that happened out of the ordinary is on Wednesday. I took a crossfit class that morning that was very intense and pushed myself hard. At the end, I felt very light headed and like I was going to throw up. Well..... I actually had to run to the bathroom at the gym and put a cold rag on my face and I did not really throw up but I gagged a little (so sorry for tmi). Could this have triggered something in my body and cause some spotting and cramping? I work out a lot so I think it's very unlikely but I did push myself hard.
Anyhow.... I guess we will see if I do get a heavier period later on!

The Shortest 2ww Ever!

Hmmmm..... I am a little surprised that my period started again yesterday! Indeed, I had my period on Wednesday December 28th after a normal 28 day cycle (the previous one started on December 1st). So yesterday, January 12th, I was surprised to see brownish blood when using the bathroom. I put a liner in my undies, and there was a bit of brown on it at night when I got home. Cramping started like my period is here. But this would be the shortest 2ww ever since it has only been two weeks since my last period!!! I am freaking out a little. I don't want my body to start doing weird things (it's already hard with the translocation). I usually have longer cycles with the occasional weird 20 days (I think maybe once 18 days) cycle. But never two weeks. So when did I ovulate? It makes no sense! I was still bleeding from my 12/28/11 period on 1/2/12. If anyone out there knows anything or has any input, please let me know!
Besides that, all is pretty quiet here....

Happy New Year!

I don't have much to say but I wanted to wish everyone a Happy New Year. Let's hope for many miracles this year. Many people that I know are pregnant, either for a while or just announcing their pregnancies. I somehow handle it pretty well. I have had this weird, serene feeling lately that it might happen soon for us but I don't want to write more about it (just a superstitious thing of me, don't want to jinx myself). So at this point we shall see what happens in the future.

The Holidays

Ever since two years ago when we suffered the loss of pregnancy #4 on Xmas Eve day, it has been hard to enjoy the Holidays. It's sad because Christmas has always been my favorite Holiday of all. I would get that Xmas spirit to the fullest but for the past two years I have seen a significant change. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy it but it is not the same. I still cannot understand how I could miscarry on my favorite Holiday (or on the day of the recital for that matter----- the two most important days of my year).
Then last year, our A/C-Heater Unit broke on December 15th and it was cold in Florida at that time. We spent last Xmas bundled under sweaters and blankets drinking hot cocoa warming ourselves up with space heaters because we did not have the funds to replace the A/C unit yet. Although the giggling of cuddling on the couch with my Hubby make great memories, it was another hard Christmas.
This year, the Holiday season started rough again and it made me wonder what the H*** on earth we did to deserve this. My car, which is not that old (but of course we are done paying it and warranty is over) broke at the beginning of December. Price tag to repair -------> not very pretty. Got several estimates and finally had to repair it. $1300 right before the Holidays. I am just thinking, are you kidding me?
Then, Monday night, our Basset Hound Boots that we've had for almost 11 years looked very sick and did not move all night. He is my Hubby's best friend and it was hard to see him sobbing as we thought it would be Boots' last night on earth. I could not believe that would happen again right before Xmas.
Well, Boots got better the following day and he is doing good today. We know he is very old and it might be his last Xmas but we wish that he can last longer, forever would be great ;-) Here is a picture of him guarding our Christmas tree :)

BUT, after these little troubles, something great is happening this year. My Mom has flown from France to come spend the Holidays with us. I am SO thrilled as I have not spent Xmas with my Mom for at least 12 years (I cannot remember exactly). She has been so kind to me, to us really. She has offered to pay for most of the repairs on my car and has pretty much bought all my Hubby's presents and got pretty much a new wardrobe for me. I have not asked for anything, as I never do. I know she does it from the bottom of her heart. She knows how hard the Holidays have been for us. But the best present this year is not a material one. The best one this year is the one of love. I feel blessed that I am spending the Holidays with the two people I love the most in this world, my Hubby and my Mom. And as Boots looks better, we will most likely have our three dogs with us as well this Christmas :) I will cherish this Christmas forever.
We have not reached parenthood yet but we never know what the future holds........ we just have to wait and see I guess. But right now, I am here with my loved ones. Of course, the pain of pregnancy loss is here and it's very real but I am happy to say that this year is going to be a Good Christmas!

Enjoying Some Time Off

Well, after the very tough time at around recital time in June and the pretty non-existent time off since then, I am finally able to really relax for a bit!
I went on a mini vacation last week. To be exact, I went on a girls only cruise (one of my friends was celebrating her 30th BDay). We sailed to the Bahamas.............. hhhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuhhhhhhh...... can you say relaxation? Because of the ridiculous rates for data on my cell phone, I had turned off the data and roaming (I could only receive text messages for emergency). So, being so secluded and in the middle of the ocean, I finally relaxed. Something I had not done in a long time! No stress, nothing. I took so many power naps, ate good food, and enjoyed nice drinks.
As I was lounging on a chair overlooking the ocean, I started thinking about everything that I had gone through. Although I still have no children, I just kept thinking that I am still thankful for what I do have. I felt pretty lucky to be cruising in the Bahamas and enjoy a good time with my girls.
I am also on vacation until November 21st for Thanksgiving Break. The studio is closed so I get to relax more and enjoy time with my hubby who is also off.
Everything is pretty quiet on the baby side of our lives but I am really enjoying where I am mentally and physically right now.
Oh and another good thing happened. I had put my studies on hold because of finances but I actually obtained a scholarship that will allow me to finish! I am very happy and cannot wait to go back to school next Fall :)

That wraps it for now....