Wednesday, December 21, 2011

The Holidays

Ever since two years ago when we suffered the loss of pregnancy #4 on Xmas Eve day, it has been hard to enjoy the Holidays. It's sad because Christmas has always been my favorite Holiday of all. I would get that Xmas spirit to the fullest but for the past two years I have seen a significant change. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy it but it is not the same. I still cannot understand how I could miscarry on my favorite Holiday (or on the day of the recital for that matter----- the two most important days of my year).
Then last year, our A/C-Heater Unit broke on December 15th and it was cold in Florida at that time. We spent last Xmas bundled under sweaters and blankets drinking hot cocoa warming ourselves up with space heaters because we did not have the funds to replace the A/C unit yet. Although the giggling of cuddling on the couch with my Hubby make great memories, it was another hard Christmas.
This year, the Holiday season started rough again and it made me wonder what the H*** on earth we did to deserve this. My car, which is not that old (but of course we are done paying it and warranty is over) broke at the beginning of December. Price tag to repair -------> not very pretty. Got several estimates and finally had to repair it. $1300 right before the Holidays. I am just thinking, are you kidding me?
Then, Monday night, our Basset Hound Boots that we've had for almost 11 years looked very sick and did not move all night. He is my Hubby's best friend and it was hard to see him sobbing as we thought it would be Boots' last night on earth. I could not believe that would happen again right before Xmas.
Well, Boots got better the following day and he is doing good today. We know he is very old and it might be his last Xmas but we wish that he can last longer, forever would be great ;-) Here is a picture of him guarding our Christmas tree :)

BUT, after these little troubles, something great is happening this year. My Mom has flown from France to come spend the Holidays with us. I am SO thrilled as I have not spent Xmas with my Mom for at least 12 years (I cannot remember exactly). She has been so kind to me, to us really. She has offered to pay for most of the repairs on my car and has pretty much bought all my Hubby's presents and got pretty much a new wardrobe for me. I have not asked for anything, as I never do. I know she does it from the bottom of her heart. She knows how hard the Holidays have been for us. But the best present this year is not a material one. The best one this year is the one of love. I feel blessed that I am spending the Holidays with the two people I love the most in this world, my Hubby and my Mom. And as Boots looks better, we will most likely have our three dogs with us as well this Christmas :) I will cherish this Christmas forever.
We have not reached parenthood yet but we never know what the future holds........ we just have to wait and see I guess. But right now, I am here with my loved ones. Of course, the pain of pregnancy loss is here and it's very real but I am happy to say that this year is going to be a Good Christmas!