Friday, May 25, 2012

CD 10 Follie Check

Today is day 10 and I had my follie check this morning. There was one dominant one on the right side and a few little ones on the left. The dominant is 18.3mm and my lining is 8.9mm. I have to go back on Sunday to check the growth. He said that because of dimished ovarian reserve, this is most likely why I only have one dominant one (tear) but he stays positive as my body is producing follicles. We also talked about Letrozole and I think that we will be moving on to that if this cycle does not take.
Fingers crossed...

Friday, May 18, 2012

Going forward with the last cycle of Clomid

Hello Everyone,

AF showed up two days ago and I went back to the RE to have my FSH tested again and see if we would go forward with the last cycle of Clomid (@ 100mg). FSH came back borderline (as usual), 10.3, but the doctor says it's fine to go ahead with this cycle. The last time, I did produce follicles and he was pleased to see that. I hope that I get to produce follicles again. I have to go for a CD 10 follie check next Friday..... fingers crossed.
I feel better physically and emotionally, it seems that I am recovering well from the accident. I still cannot believe that I did not have one broken bone and did not suffer major injuries. My neck MRI showed a lesion on disc C4-5 but I am unsure yet as what it means. I will meet with my doctor next week to talk about it. I just keep thinking of all the things that could have gone wrong, especially looking at the pictures of the car, but I am very thankful to have a second chance at LIFE. I need to keep this accident in the past and focus on my future...

Monday, May 14, 2012

Horrible AMH Results and a Serious Car Accident

It has been a while since I have posted anything. I was going to write after I received my AMH results on April 17th but I got in a serious car accident on April 19th which, thank lord, I only suffered minor injuries considering the severity of the crash. That week was horrible and it has taken me some time to feel better emotionally. I have been seeing a therapist who told me that I should keep writing because it is a great way to express yourself and heal.
I will start with the AMH results. In my last post, I explained that I was starting my third cycle of Clomid (if I recall correctly) and I was saying that again my FSH came back a bit elevated. The RE had then decided to test my AMH because of the FSH being high and the fact that it takes me an average of a year in between each pregnancies. I could feel that I would not receive great news but did not think that the results would be so low. At my age, 31, you should receive a result above 1. Mine came back at 0.4. When I got the call, my heart sank. I remember being upset all day, I was struggling at work. When I got home at night, I was really quiet and not talking and my husband could feel something was bothering me. When I finally talked to him, I lost it and was in tears and devastated. I explained to him that most likely I don't have that much time left to get pregnant and did not even know if I could ever have a child. As usual he was very comforting but my heart was aching terribly and felt so sad. The following day was tough but I went to work and tried to focus on other things. This is where the accident comes into the picture. The AMH results came on Tuesday..... Wednesday was a tough day but got through it...... I decided to go to the gym on Thursday morning and take a kick butt spinning class in order to regroup myself and keep going with my life..............
As I was driving to the gym at around 9am, a lady ran a stop sign and hit me full speed driver side. I had the right of way and was on the main road, she came from a side street. She did not stop......... and almost took my life away. The hit was incredible, it felt like an explosion. I will always remember that horrible sound when her van hit me. The rest is a bit blurry but it seems that my car spun and it came to a stop when it hit a power pole (on the back of my car). I can't really describe what my car looked like afterwards, I will let you look at the pictures and see for yourself:

I am lucky to be alive today. I was transported by ambulance on a stretcher as we had no idea what my injuries were . I got cut all over my left arm from the glass. There was blood everywhere. I had an enormous contusion on my left hand, I suffered a black eye and lots and lots of horrible bruises, the seatbelt burnt me and I had a horrible black blue yellow bruise on the left on my neck. I could not move my neck and was so scared. I was in pain and laying down for a week after the accident. I have gone through several scans, testings, and MRIs. We just got the results from the neck one. I have a lesion on one of my cervical disks. I have been in alot of pain, mostly in my neck and back since the crash. As you know, I own a dance studio and it has been affecting my professional life and personal one of course. As I am slowly returning to normal, I am just wondering what I have done to deserve all this. As if getting that horrible AMH result wasn't enough.
Well, I am still here and feeling a bit better. We were finally able to go get my new car on Friday. I went with a mini SUV and it feels so big for me (4 ' 11'' Frenchie) but I feel very safe in it and driving is becoming easier each day. The accident was very traumatic but I am thankful for being here today. If you look at the back of the car, behing the driver's seat, you can see that if I had a passenger on that day, it would not have been pretty.  I keep telling myself that maybe this is the reason why we did not have children..............
I have to go to court tomorrow as the lady is fighting her ticket!!!! Wow, I am stunned but I have to do it. I will keep you posted on my condition. I had to put my last cycle of Clomid on hold because of this horrible chapter but I am now patiently waiting for AF in order to try one last time with Clomid. Will life ever give me a break? I surely hope so.....