Tuesday, February 8, 2011

11 Years

On Friday Night, my Hubby and I celebrated 11 years of marriage! We went out on the town and had a great time, just him and I. I was very happy to spend some quality time together. We could not stay out too late because I was working at the dance studio all day the next day........ plus, I am not 20 anymore! ha ha!!! So it's harder the next day!
But now that I tell people that we have been married 11 years, you know the question always comes out: "and no kids?" I do not want to explain my entire life story and the difficult times we have gone through to every parent at the dance studio (yes, I work with kids all week long!). I just tell them that it has been hard and that hopefully it will happen someday. I don't like when people look at me with pity.
I have to say that I have changed over the years. After the first 2 miscarriages, I went into deep depression. I then snapped out of it and focused on trying and trying and trying...... with no outcomes. Unfortunately, IUI's and IVF is not for us as our insurance does not cover these costs or an extremely small amount. We make ok money, not enough to invest in "baby loans" or intensive medical treatments. So lately I have been thinking about me and enjoying ME. I joined a new gym which has great classes in the morning that I enjoy going to. I have lost 3 pounds and I feel great. Hubby and I enjoy our time together. I seem and feel more happy. I more and more come to terms with the fact that we might not have any children ever. It sucks but it is the way it is..... I guess it is what my life was supposed to be. I do not close the door on the idea of being a parent, I always wanted to be one......... but if it happens, it happens. I stay hopeful :-)
Balanced Translocation you have been tough on me but I am back enjoying life........ you could not take that away from me!