Baby Shower

Yep..... today was fun........ I went to my bestfriend's baby shower for Baby #2. I love her more than anything and think of her more as my sister than my friend. I actually started TTC before she was even married or thought of having children. It is weird how things turn out in life. Here I was today, after 5 years of her being married, and celebrating her baby #2 who is due in 3 weeks. Although it is hard, I do not wish any bad things for her and I am very happy for her and hubby. Her and I suffered a m/c pretty much at the same time about 3 years ago (it was her first, my 2nd). She went on and achieved motherhood. I'm still trying.... I feel so angry sometimes because our children should have been growing up together. So many memories that could have been, do not exist. She has been the bestfriend in the world by being so careful when I am around, making sure that I was involved in her first born's life as much as possible. She made me the Godmother and told me the day he was born that I was the chosen one after I had witnessed his birth. He loves me very much and this eases the pain that I feel sometimes! She is very hopeful for me and I wish that one day I can join her in motherhood!